I think the biggest dilemma in my life is simple. I have far too many ambitions. There are so many things I want to do/see/learn that when I finally find some time to do something, I don't even know where to start.
I guess I prefer my situation than those people who feel clueless in life. At least I know what I like, and I know what I'm good at. It's still frustrating though, to not be able to do more at once. The other day someone suggested that I say no to more things at work so I have more time. That's a nice idea, but totally unrealistic. It's just the nature of my career. I've been thinking about my level of busy-ness and I can't decide which is worse: life as a music major or life as a music teacher. I also wonder how life as a grad student compares. Sure, the work is harder and more demanding than being a teacher, but you get a rubric. That means that they tell you how to be successful. There is definitely no rubric for real life.
I think a major draw for grad school is the traveling to a new city element. It sounds amazing to live in a real city... but I'm not sure that I'm ready to go back to intense music theory and analysis. Also, in grad school I wouldn't have my daily doses of entertainment provided by my students. I think I would miss it... because let's be honest, adults are jerks.
So, it looks like my plan of action is to stick to the life I have now; but perhaps with some different priorities. I'll keep you posted on the results.
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